Overindulgence

Submitted by CP

A few years ago, I picked up a bad habit of overdrinking and not eating enough. I was skipping meals because the alcohol, especially wine, was making me feel full. This was also during a time when I was travelling and partying a lot. You know how they say you’re supposed to gain weight on vacation, because you’re living the good life? I was actually losing weight.

I was seeing a doctor regularly for another condition I had at the time, and it really dawned on me when he told me I was at the low end of my BMI. Then by the next visit, just a month later, I was underweight. I started to get really self conscious and hid this fear in baggy clothes until I was a normal weight again. Thank God I live in Seattle.

I care a lot about my appearance and never want people to worry about me, so I did whatever I could to eat regularly and healthy again. I just never thought this would be an issue for me. But now that I heard it from a professional that I was underweight, it made sense why I was experiencing some of the symptoms I was having, like insomnia, seeing stars, fatigue, and fainting.

Now, I don’t want this to be seen as another story about substance abuse or eating disorders, because I know there are people who actually suffer from those conditions to the extreme. I’m also not looking for pity, because I know I did this to myself. I just never liked talking about my problems until after I’ve overcome them, and maybe that’s another one of my demons.

I’m just glad that this part of my life is over. I’m also beyond grateful to have friends that make sure I eat at gatherings now, but I know it’s my own responsibility and a work in progress. I just tend to not feel hungry when I’m drinking.